For whatever reason, a year and a half later, I am not directly involved in leading small groups as a ministry for our church. The main reason is that at the time little response occurred to the meeting that I mentioned in Jan. 2010. I see so much that I didn't have a clear vision, and the pastor had not laid out a church-wide vision. From what I have heard, the pastor is going to preach on community intentionally this fall, with the WL and another staff member leading off-site small groups while the associate pastor continues to direct on-site small groups. We have had one training where it was made clear that all groups, on-site or off-site, are going to be called small groups. The next training is in August where we will learn how to use the church website to record attendance, have e-mail connection with group members, etc.
In July 2006, my wife-to-be and I started the first small group I led, made up of singles ages 18-30. This lasted until September of 2008. We joined a young married group in October 2007 and stayed there as members until December of 2008. We started a new multi-generational group in March of 2009 that lasted until October 2009. While this was a short-lived group, we developed some relationships that continue to this day and one of the retired ladies from the group now volunteers in my classroom. Then, in October of 2009 we started a new younger married group and this continued until March of 2011. And now, I am a small group leader without a group.
I am beginning to realize that I had such a great experience with the first group, and it has been hard to recreate. I have expectations that these new groups will have the same drive, same passion to grow in Christ in the way that we experienced that first time, and it has not happened again. I know that not everyone is at that place, and I have to learn how to engage people where they are. Honestly, the reason the last group ended was because I was tired. I was leading in my own strength, not relying enough on the Spirit's direction, and I felt like I was pulling teeth every time we met. The group was not at a place of reaching out on their own, and I wasn't at a place to coax them deeper. It is too bad, but God allows us to learn from our mistakes and go forward.
This summer, several key conversations have brought me back full circle to where my thoughts have started with invested love. Many of them happened on a mission trip in Haiti. One of the missionaries repeatedly discussed the Great Commission, but she gave a focus that I've felt but hadn't had so clearly expressed.
Matthew 28:19-20:
"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."
Christ told us to go make disciples. He did not tell us "to go make converts" (Haitian way to express "to save people"). Christ told us to go make disciples. Disciple-making is a long-term process. It does not happen in a half-hour sermon; it happens over a lifetime.
One of the group members talked about the discipleship process during Jesus' time. Typically, disciples would choose their own rabbi. They walked with him and learned from him. The follower chose the leader, with the intention of getting to know the leader/teacher so well that he could imitate the rabbi to the next generation. Christ approached this process differently. His disciples were to do the exact same thing--to walk with Him and learn from Him. BUT--Christ chose His disciples. He sought them out. He decided to invest in certain people, instead of waiting for followers to come to Him. Christ was bold, going up to these men and saying simply, "Follow me." When a man was hesitant, making excuses about following Jesus later, Christ was so bold as to say, "Let the dead bury their own dead." Christ was not a rabbi who just sat passively and waited for followers to come to Him. Christ chose them first. He made no excuses for how hard the life of a true disciple of Christ would be (Matthew 8; Luke 9).
So how does Jesus' example impact us today? Christ told us to go make disciples and to teach everything the new disciples to obey everything He commanded us to do.
Outside the church walls, I think it is clear that Christ wants us to share our faith without excuses. It's not up to us to convince anyone that Christ is the right, and only, answer. The Holy Spirit will do that Himself because just as Jesus sought out the first 12 disciples, He is still initiating the relationship with new disciples today. We just need to tell our story of how Christ impacted our lives, and then we live like we believe Jesus is who He says He is. This is the first part of invested love.
Inside the church walls, I think that we need to seek out and invite those that stay on the sidelines. Find out what is keeping them in the shadows, and engage them. Here is where invested love has the rubber meet the road. I feel that there are so many people who are sitting in church who need a gentle nudge to move forward. In this last small group, I did not rely on God's strength, and I was not able to do it in a way that brought Him honor. I am sorry about that. If we rely on Him, though, He can equip us and empower us to reach out to those who need that encouragement, and even that rebuke in Christ-like love.
When I hear that the 80-20 rule is so entrenched in the church, I have to ask why. Why is that, across almost all congregations, we typically see 80% of the work done by 20% of the people? I have to believe part of this is due to a choice not to engage people that don't volunteer. Maybe these people don't volunteer because of a lack of confidence. If that's the case, we need to walk beside them as they serve so that they can gain assurance of God's work in their life and that He wants to use them for His glory. Maybe these people don't volunteer because of a lack of skill. If that's the case, we need to teach them, asking them to apprentice in roles by watching people who have done the skill before and enjoy sharing the blessing of serving Christ.
Maybe we don't ask people to volunteer because we like our ministry too much. We enjoy so much doing what God has called us to do; maybe we're afraid to let go of that event/activity/process that brings us so much joy. Maybe we're afraid that those who follow us won't do it the same way, or they might be better at it than we are, so we don't look as important or successful. All of these fears are sincere, and I experience them frequently myself, but they are preventing others from experiencing the blessing that we enjoy when we serve God with a willing, humble heart.
A second part that stuck out to me through these conversations is the title of this blog. Christ said we are to teach everything He has commanded us to obey. What has He commanded us to obey?
Matthew 22:35-40
One of [the Pharisees], an expert in the law, tested him with this question: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
"Love your neighbor as yourself" is also found in Leviticus 19:18, Matthew 19:19, Mark 12:31-34, Luke 10:27, Romans 13:9, Galatians 5:14, and James 2:8. Paul retells that all the commands are "summed up in this one command" in Romans and that "the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command" in Galatians. James calls it the "royal law."
What strikes me then is that we need to teach people how to love God first, by teaching humble submission, and then how to love others, again by teaching humble submission. And I think in today's world we need to teach people how to love themselves, by teaching that God is holy and just and Truth while at the same time being grace and mercy and love. Many people struggle with loving others because they do not truly love themselves. They do not see themselves as part of God's creation, designed with a purpose to honor Him. They struggle to see past their own sin and find it hard to believe that they are lovable by other people, so why should they love themselves? I know I have found myself there at times, and I become a victim who struggles to reach out to others because I am so centered on my own weaknesses and shortcomings rather than God's strength in me. If we teach morality void of a humble dependence on God, we are not fulfilling the Great Commission. A list of rules will never lead anyone to true righteousness.
The last conversation that prompted me to think deeper was about pure religion.
James 1:27:
"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
My wife and I have struggled with infertility for our three and a half years of marriage. We are in our early to mid-30s, and we have felt that God is calling us to adoption. We feel a strong call to redeem a life that could have ended in abortion. We know that we are not doing this on our own, but we do it because we are called to love others. It is God's use of us as His instruments of peace that provides the true redemptive story. A couple in our church have adopted two girls from Ethiopia, and they are excited to walk with us as we go down this path toward adoption. Last Sunday we talked about this verse in James, and I brought up how my wife and I feel called to both parts of this verse. We have felt a strong call to support widows who are around us through encouragement and care, and physical support if they need it, as well. Several widows around us are not shut ins but rather still vital and active, but they do feel alone and they need loved on. Some women are functional widows, in that they are divorced, either by their husbands' choices or sometimes even their own, and they still need loved on and shown Christ's grace. We see all too often that generations function separately in the church, and we want to help bridge that gap through loving children and senior adults.
I pray that we depend on Christ to love Him first so we have the strength to love others as well.
How's that for a year and a half gap of thoughts!
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